Monday, August 20, 2012

Fear and Anxiety

I know to some of you this may seem silly or small and I know that we will look back on this one day soon and it will seem so miniscule, however this has been reality for our family the past couple of days and for nothing else, I wanted to document it so we will remember it and how God brought us out of it, especially for Brayden.

As most of you know, Brayden started Kindergarten just a few weeks ago and has loved it (especially P.E. and recess), for the first week or so.  UNTIL...

Thursday morning Brayden had a crying fit before he left for school saying, "Mom I miss you too bad when I am school...please can I stay home???"  Of course I told him no but comforted him and told him that I would miss him too and would be waiting at the bus stop for him that afternoon.

Then he did it again on Friday morning.

Then again Friday night during the wedding (random!).  He whispered to me during the wedding, "Mom sometimes at school I just have a freak-out because I miss you so bad!" and started crying MULTIPLE times that night about it.  Then he went home with Lolli after the wedding.

She said he had several moments where he would start crying saying he missed me and wanted to call me and kept asking how many days until school again.  Then he told her that he was afraid he would miss recess at school if he didn't finish his work.  Ahhhhemmm...lightbulb moment.

Come to find out, there is a rule in place in their classroom that if they don't finish their morning work they have to stay in for recess until they finish their work, simple and fair enough.

Not for him.  It has caused him SEVERE anxiety since Thursday and several times has been hurled over in stomach pain, stomach attacks and has cried 30-40 times over the weekend about it.  He has NEVER had anxiety before so this is so new.  

I did talk to his teacher over the weekend and she said that he has never been one to not finish his work and that rule is designed for those kids who play and don't finish.  It is an incentive for them to get all their work done.  Work, then play.  So he had nothing to worry about!

Over the weekend, Lolli read him scripture about fear and talked with him multiple times about it.  One time, she said he came to her crying saying, "Lolli, I do not want to follow the devil!!!"  She of course said, "Brayden what in the world are you talking about?"  He said, "Well you said that God does not give you a spirit of fear, so it must be from the devil.  I am following the devil and I don't want to!!!!!"  Break a momma's heart!!!!  She of course explained that is not what that meant.  When he got home last night, we had a long talk about it and we prayed over him and told him some things to do to combat this fear.

It BREAKS MY HEART to see him hurting and not be able to fix it for him.  However, this is an opportunity for him to trust the Lord and see if this God he is learning about really does answer prayers.  I am praying this for my son while he is at school today and am anxious to see how God is going to use it in his life during this small (but so very real) scenario in his life.  And I can't wait to hug his neck at the bus stop in just a few minutes.

Don't worry I will keep you posted too.  :)

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