I'm coming up for air...

This week, like most of yours I'm assuming, has been the busiest week since Christmas!  I do not like it when things get this busy and the not-so-pretty side of me comes out.  For the first time in 2 years, I remember what it was like to be teaching and totally stressed out.  We, as a family, haven't had a single night at home and haven't eaten dinner together one night as a family...which is one of my favorite times of the day.  When things get like this, I shut down.  I quit the just mundane tasks and let it all go.  Which could be a good thing, but for me, it's not.  It's like the crawl in a hole and just forget it all mentality...not good at all.  

My"to do" list continues to grow and my calendar is no longer in my head.  

I do write my life in my calendar and memorize it but when it gets so 

busy I can't remember what is upcoming and then I stress because I am 

afraid I will forget something.  With Easter coming up this weekend, tee ball and gymnastics, projects I have going on at home, my brother's wedding next weekend, Lucy with ANOTHER ear infection so she is very clingy, on top of working full time and being a full time mommy and wife, I am just coming up for air.

On top of everything else, we found out yesterday that Jay's sweet grandaddy, Pawpaw Lemonds, went to be with the Lord.  He has suffered for a while with cancer and when Jay went to see him last week, he knew it wouldn't be long.  He was able to spend some sweet moments with him and they talked about the Lord and he shared his testimony with Jay.  He was an extremely Godly man and loved the Lord more than anybody I know.  It was contagious!  He and Jay were very close and although we are very sad he is not here, we are thankful he is no longer suffering.  He always said to us recently, "Don't cry for me!!!! This is just my ticket home!!!!"  (sniff, sniff)  I was able to talk with the kids about it and shared some very intimate conversations with Karis about death and what it means.  She said to me, "Mom maybe Pawpaw doesn't have to take those shots anymore now that he is in heaven!"  (He was a brittle diabetic and had to give himself shots constantly!)  

I feel like for the first time, she understood death and I was also 

able to explain to her about Amber's death...I have never told her 

what happened to Amber before because I didn't think she would 

understand.  So I cried, again, for about the 3rd time today and 

33rd in the last two days.  There are multiple things in our lives 

right now that are keeping me emotionally drained 

(Kindergarten registration is Monday and I cry every time I think about it!).

I say all this not to complain about life.  I know that you all are just as busy if not more.  I have a two-fold purpose for this post:

1)  I am just being real.  Things aren't easy all the time and this week has been one of those.

2)  This whole week, I believe, is a plot straight from hell.  Satan is doing everything is his power to take my mind off of the Lord with Easter coming up.  This week has so much significance in the life of a Christian and Satan uses life, time and frustrations to weasel his way right in the midst of everything to throw our focus off.  And at times this week in my life, he has succeeded.  

BUT I refuse to let Satan steal my thunder.  We will overcome and we will do so victoriously.  Because I know who wins the battle and it is NOT him!  I will praise the Lord through the good times and the bad, through the funeral tomorrow (both for Pawpaw and the crucifixion of my Lord) and through the celebration of what Easter truly represents.  

BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS ON THAT THIRD DAY!  And I am sure I will cry 333 more tears and that is ok.  I will do more than survive, coming up for air.....I will conquer through Him that gives me strength!

"I will praise you forever for what you 

have done; in your name I will hope, for 

your name is good."  Psalm 52:9


(I know there is some weird spacing issues and it is not like that when I edit it and then it does crazy stuff and I am too tired to figure it out right now...oh well.  There goes Satan AGAIN!)