You call them friends, you say you trust them, but do you? Can you?
For the past few weeks I have been reading through Job in my Chronological Bible. I will admit it has been a tough read, yet it has been good for my soul. I have gotten lost in some of the reading, to me some of it is like reading Shakespeare...you have to concentrate on each and every word to understand what they are saying and the ideas they are trying to get across.
I will tell you one thing I understand...I am SOOOO glad I don't have friends like Job.
I have battled over the past few weeks with how open to be on this 'ole blog. You know...where to draw the line. But over time I think it is important for people to know that we struggle through things like everyone else, we make mistakes, have hard times and are human and far from the perfect like life that blogs sometimes indicate. A few days before Christmas, to put it bluntly, I found a lump in my breast that I quickly became very concerned about. I am by nature a worrier which didn't make it easier. Christmas was just a few days away and our family vacation was on the horizon and we ALL needed it badly. I chose (hard decision) NOT to tell my husband or mother until the end of the vacation so as to not ruin their vacation. It was a VERY hard week not knowing the diagnosis of this mystery lump (fairly large the size of a quarter or so) could alter my family forever. I would stay up late at night after everyone else had gone to bed doing research on "scaremetodeath.com" (as my doctor calls the web) researching it. It did make me treasure Christmas that much more not knowing what my future would hold. To make a long story short, I told Jay and my mom 2 days before we left on December 30 and I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I went to the doc when I got home and he felt certain it was a cyst. However a friend of mine had already told me that when she found a lump they insisted was a cyst ended up being stage 4 cancer and her "symptoms" were just like mine. So I was relieved, yet still worried. He scheduled a mammogram and an ultrasound for a few days later and that morning when I woke up, it was not coincidence that God had be beginning Job in my Chronological reading.
The Bible tells us that Job was "blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil," Job 1:1. He was a Godly man and the Lord gave him favor. One day Satan comes with the angels to speak to the Lord and the Lord asks him, "Have you considered my servant Job? He is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil." Job 1:8
God gave Job over to Satan but told Satan that he could take anything from him but couldn't take his life. And Satan did just that. He takes his 10 children, 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 oxen, 500 donkeys, servants and his health away from him. Job was in a MISERABLE state. He wanted to die so he wouldn't have to suffer any more but not once did he curse God. He questioned him, but never cursed him. Even his wife said to him, "Are you still holding onto your integrity??? Curse God and die!" Ouch. Yet he chose not to.
For eight LONG days, Job's "friends" tried to convince him that he was a man of sin and that his many sins had caused this "miserable" state. Job tried to convince them that he wasn't living a life of sin and had been upright but talking about "kicking a man while he is down!", they did just that. They continued to badger him and badger him about his sinful life and to "get right before the Lord and then the Lord will hear you!"
With friends like his, who needs enemies?!
In my commentary, Iva documents real friends are those who:
- accepts me "warts and all"
- share my burdens and are easy to pray with
- don't reinforce my feelings of failure and inadequacy
- recognize my flaws, pray for me, but they never bring them up
- don't judge me
- make me feel valuable and valued when I am around them
- make me feel safe in their presence
- inspire me to become a better wife, mom and sister in Christ
- fuel my heart for God
- contribute to my spiritual well-being
- inspire me to develop and reciprocate all the above traits
Healthy friendships:
- "A friend loves at all times." Proverbs 17:17
- "There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24
- "Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man's friends gives delight by hearty counsel." Proverbs 27:9
- "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of a friend." Proverbs 27:9
The truth is, all of our friends, (including ourselves) are going to let us down at one time or another just like Job's, sometimes in our deepest struggles; however, there is one who won't EVER let us down. That is why we must learn to depend on God alone and not on other people to meet our needs. Although I am so thankful for my friends, I am thankful for a Heavenly Father that despite my faults or circumstances, can be my ALL IN ALL, my everything.
He alone completes me.
As Job states,
"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked will I depart. The gave and the Lord has taken away, may the name of the LORD be praised." Job 1:21
P.S. After the mammogram and ultrasounds, it was confirmed that I have Fibroadenoma, which is a non-cancerous, benign tumor. They are going to check it again in 3 months and at that point I can have it biopsied or taken out at my request. Thank you Jesus.
